This blogger grew up in a non-sports household. My three older sisters focused on academics and excelled due to hard work and natural intelligence. Athletic family activities consisted of public ice skating sessions or going to the bowling alley. Safe to say my siblings and I have few, if any positive memories of those family outings. My dad taught me how Major League Baseball is played and scored on an engineering pad of paper in 1978. Very effective tool and teaching methodology to explain a relatively simple game in the late 1970s.
My dad tried to do the same thing with the National Football League during a pre-season game in 1979. He simply didn’t have the parental knowledge and patience to answer my questions. I subsequently decided that reading MAD Magazine was more entertaining and rewarding than watching sports on television. Life does work in mysterious ways when you least expect it.
Fractured Childhood
My parents separated when I was eight years old. Were officially divorced when I was nine years old. My dad was remarried before I turned ten. Classic rebound relationship and marriage. So many red flags on the wedding day. Felt like I was watching a crash filled NASCAR race from the front row. My dad convinced me to try living with his new family in California as I entered the fifth grade.
New family consisted of stepmom #1 and two stepbrothers. I was immediately introduced to hard rock/heavy metal music and learning how to be a sports fan. Stepmom #1 voluntold me “that I was going to play American Youth Soccer Organization soccer for the Fall 1982 season.” I was not amenable to this idea at all. Pleaded with my dad, for me to focus on school work and making new friends instead. Request was met with a firm “no.” I was told to “figure this out, you might end up liking it.”
Playing Soccer in California
As I embarked on a three month season, was greeted with no parental help at all. I rode an adult sized ten speed bicycle to and from two practices and one game per week. My dad and stepmom #1 would attend games when it was convenient. I received no verbal feedback on how I was playing or what was going to happen the following week.
Instead of being frustrated about getting a bag full of lemons, I turned it into a quest to maximize independence. Might hopefully learn some life skills along the way too. Why was I having clairvoyant thoughts acting like a responsible teenager at a young age? Currently I can’t decide between red or green organic apples at the grocery store. My learning curve might actually be backwards.
Different Perspective
Riding to and from practices on a bicycle became a commuting learning lesson next to cars and trucks. Learned the importance of arriving early or right on time. Saturday games were fun, due to using soccer fundamentals taught during practices and applying them in critical game moments. Also enjoyed learning how the rules were enforced during games by the referees. I made several friends on my team, which helped get me out of my shell at a new school.
Half of the games were played during rain storms. Mother Nature taught me the importance of always having a layered uniform set of clothes. Did learn the importance of showing up and playing my best. Couldn’t help but daydream about playing in better weather conditions. The head coach was decent and fair, despite having his loudmouth son playing as a below average forward. I had mastered how to follow directions after being told only once, communicate with teammates, and stay below the radar. All skills that I have and still use throughout my personal and professional life.
Normal Childhood in Colorado
I moved back to Colorado in early 1983 to have a much better home and school balance. Also to get as far away as possible from that crazy new family in California. Played organized soccer from Spring 1983 to Spring 1988 (seven total seasons). Ended up meeting some lifelong friends during those seasons. Learned how to be a shutdown fullback playing the right side or center position of the defense. Had some good coaches and also survived some bad coaches.
Memorable Season
Spring 1988 season was the most enjoyable and memorable due to having a 10-2 record and incredible team chemistry. Most of the players on the roster had a chip on their shoulders. This was due to having a crappy coaching staff that treated us like dogs during the Spring 1987 season. When the team convened for the first practice, a coach didn’t arrive to run us through drills.
Several players talked openly about not needing a head coach since we had been playing together for five plus years. We knew each others on-field strengths and weaknesses. Trusted each other in critical game situations and were ready to play a technically sound gameplan. Worst case scenario, we could coach ourselves. A new player stood up and said his older sister would gladly coach if we moved to a different park for the next practice.
Be Careful What You Wish For
During the second practice, it became crystal clear that we were going to coach ourselves. The “older sister” would run the practices, manage the bench, and determine the starting lineup. Other than those basic items, we were empowered on the field to play loose and with confidence. It was amazing to see fourteen soccer players immediately gel and push each other to be the best team possible.
We had caught lightning in a bottle and savored every minute of it. Season culminated with a 3-0 victory over a roster full of top rated high school soccer players. My team played an almost perfect game from endline to endline and sideline to sideline for sixty five minutes. Our goalie was in the zone and made several key saves. Defensive formations did a ton of bending but not breaking in the second half. Somehow, someway I ended up with an assist on our second goal. Executed a perfectly placed long pass to one of our forwards right before halftime. The forward made one move and then scored on a beautiful shot.
My teammates and I watched, as the team we had just beat were punished by their head coach. They had to run wind sprints and penalty laps around the field. It felt incredible to play my best soccer when it counted most and against a talented opponent..
Playing Indoor Soccer
Fast forward about twelve years and this blogger played two seasons of adult indoor soccer during the early 2000s. Overall a fun experience playing on a coed roster and I got back into physical shape. Taking my prescription glasses off to play wasn’t an easy obstacle to overcome, due to my blurry vision. Also suffered a badly sprained ankle while scoring a game winning goal during the third game. That clearly showed I was aging due to a long recovery timeframe of four plus weeks. Wondered if I would enjoy coaching a soccer team to strain my brain and not strain my knees and legs. Trying to apply the work smarter and not harder concept in the real world.
Parenthood and Soccer
My twin daughters (Twin A, Twin B), tried the Seattle HappyFeet Soccer program while attending day care from late 2019 to early 2020. Twin A liked soccer immediately, whereas Twin B wasn’t a fan of running drills and kicking a ball. Life and raising kids was going along smoothly, until Covid-19 started near our house in Kirkland, Washington in March 2020. The next eighteen months were mainly spent in home lockdown with minimal outdoor activities for my kids.
Twin A enthusiastically signed up for i9 Sports coed soccer, for the Fall 2021 season in Norman, Oklahoma. I was a nervous parent on the sidelines for seven practices and seven games. Twin A had a positive experience and listened to coaching instructions very well for a four year old. The head coach had volunteered for the first time in his life. Had his hands full with a roster of eight kids all in the 3-to-4 year old range, including his son. Unfortunately he didn’t have an assistant coach and none of the parents volunteered to help. I was focused on keeping my daughter plugged in each week and seeing if she truly liked playing soccer.
Fall 2021 Season Memories
Twin A’s head coach took on too much responsibility with the roster. He struggled trying to guide eight players during the course of a practice and then a game. Also took ownership of all situations presented by the kiddos on his team. If any players needed to use the restroom, sat down, or left the field, he used his parenting skills to keep the players on the field. I’ll give this head coach an A for effort, but he took on more than he could handle.
Parents should have stepped in when their own kids acted up, but they gladly ceded that to the head coach. I was shocked that the parents sitting next to me on the sidelines, turned a cold shoulder when they were needed most by their kids. If I was a head coach, I couldn’t and wouldn’t let the parents check out mentally for sixty minutes. I would ensure the parents would be fully involved with their kids while playing organized sports. I might end up being a cockeyed optimist with unbridled enthusiasm, but this rule will stick with me whenever I’m coaching.
Starting as an Assistant Coach
After seeing Twin A receive a participation trophy at the end of the 2021 Fall season, Twin B now wanted to play soccer. Twin A and Twin B played in the 5-to-6 year old age group for the i9 Sports 2022 Spring season. I also decided to raise my hand to be an assistant coach. The head coach was very experienced with soccer drills and knew how to effectively communicate with kids. The other assistant coach was comfortable on the field and managing the bench with player substitutions. I felt like a fish out of water and was trying to learn the nuances of coaching.
Became very evident after the first game, that the roster was on the younger side (most were five years old). Were going to struggle against bigger, stronger, and faster six year old kids during games. All three coaches immediately shifted to teaching defense first and offense second. It was a painful season due to losing all seven games. Three games were close on the scoreboard, but a young team was simply out performed week in and week out.
Assistant Coach Lessons Learned
I learned several important lessons being an assistant coach. Always be prepared with soccer drills and shift rotations during a game. Don’t assume the head coach has these ready to go, since he might be sick or an unannounced no show. Be flexible with weather and shuffle the roster rotation to keep things fresh for the kiddos. Have a dependable assistant coach to count on to manage the players bench. Fully utilize each teaching moment that you get to use, whether its for the entire team or for one player.
On a positive note, all of the parents raved about our coaching techniques and positive attitudes. On a negative note, Twin A and Twin B told me they didn’t want me as a coach ever again. Hardest part about parenting is listening to your kids and following through on their requests when they make sense. In this case, my twin daughters were 100% accurate.
Correct Soccer Path
Twin A and Twin B changed soccer leagues for the 2022 Fall season and joined a girls only division. Their two new coaches knew exactly how to keep practices fun. The games were enjoyable to watch, due to the fundamental drills being used in situational game moments. All seven players on the roster meshed almost perfectly and had an impressive undefeated season at 7-0-1. Twin A cleared a shot off the goal line for a valuable tie during the fourth game of the season.
Due to watching my daughters new coaches, I learned different methods on how to communicate with kids. Talking slower and keeping drills simple with repetition are the stepping stones with coaching young kids. Having a positive attitude and getting out of the way during games helps too. Very simple recipe, but hard to follow when emotions get involved.
Challenge Accepted
My son was was going to turn four years old in October 2022. The i9 Sports Fall soccer season runs from the first weekend in September to the last weekend in October. Surprisingly my son wanted to play organized soccer and was excited if I would be one of the assistant coaches. Talked at length with my wife about my son’s request. Decided to raise my hand again to be an assistant coach. i9 Sports contacted me two weeks before the Fall season started. Persuaded me with some arm twisting to be a head coach. I now had a real chance to put my parenting and coaching skills to the test. It was time to excel or fall flat on my face. Due to my assistant coaching experience, what was the worst thing that could happen?
Preparation, Preparation, Preparation
Purposely decided to over communicate with the parents of the team I was coaching. Hoping this would ensure no surprises with their kiddos. Sent three lengthy emails prior to the 2022 Fall season starting, lining out a weekly roadmap for the season. I was going to be completely transparent with how each week would be run. Wanted to create a comfortable environment for the parents that would translate into a fun experience for the kiddos. Focused on four simple goals:
- Teach the fundamentals of dribbling, passing, and shooting by using simple drills and repeating them every two-to-three weeks.
- Hopefully the kiddos would make some new friends. Being around teammates is like being around co-workers. Some you’ll click with, some you won’t, and some become very good friends for a long time.
- Have fun the entire time during practice and playing formal games. Kiddos are learning one of the best sports on the planet, playing on a good field with nice weather. Be thankful for this opportunity and soak in the moment and the memories.
- At the end of the season, each kiddo and their parents will hopefully know if they want to continue playing organized soccer. Try a different organized sport or stop playing sports entirely. An introduction into playing organized sports can have unintended negative consequences or it teaches a kiddo to explore more options to play sports.
Roadmap for the 2022 Fall Season
Here’s how this blogger will refer to the teams and players in the 3-4 year old division.
Four teams were assembled with six to eight players on each roster. They’ll be referred to as: Team A (my team); Team B; Team C; and Team D.
I coached Team A and the roster consisted of eight players. Roster will be referred to as: Player 1; Player 2; Player 3 (my son); Player 4; Player 5; Player 6; Player 7; and Player 8.
I started without any assistant coaches, but was able to recruit two parents (Assistant Coach 1, Assistant Coach 2) to help with managing the players bench for substitutions. This ended up being a pivotal decision to keep my focus on the field. If it wasn’t for the assistant coaches help, I wouldn’t have stayed on top of the weekly cadence activities.
The following is a week by week breakdown of each practice and game. What did and didn’t worked, when I had to adjust, improvise due to weather, and shift the lineup due to kiddos being ill. It was a challenge before and during Week 1, but was very rewarding from Week 2 through Week 7.
Week 1
Game was considered a scrimmage by i9 Sports against Team B. I started with seven players on the roster, not knowing that Player 8 would be added in Week 3. I spent all week memorizing the players names and following up on the roadmap to the season email. Parents were receptive to the weekly group text and responded quickly with questions and comments. Overthought how to assign jersey numbers to each player before the first practice.
Practice Session
All seven players arrived prior to the practice starting time. Was able to distribute flyers to parents describing the jersey personalization process that i9 Sports used. No matter how much I prepared or tried to think of what could or should happen in Week 1, I wasn’t prepared enough.
First kiddo to arrive at practice was Player 6 and he liked kicking the ball around with Player 3. Player 6 kept appearing and disappearing during the practice drills, and I shifted my attention onto the rest of the roster. Player 2 wanted to only use his hands on the soccer ball during drills. No matter how many times I showed and told him to use his feet, that coaching advice fell on deaf ears. Pulled four names randomly out of my hat to set a starting lineup based on the effort and skills I saw during the practice session.
First Half
Pace of the game moved quickly and it was bumpy at times. I immediately became comfortable being on the field with the kiddos and trying to get them in the correct spots. Team B was more organized and skilled at playing soccer and it showed on the scoreboard. It was 5-0 at halftime and none of my shifts were meshing on the field yet. Player 6 magically appeared midway through the first half and completed a goal line kick. When I asked him to do a sideline kick to get the ball back in play, he said “I’m not going to do that.” Player 6 then grabbed the ball and left the venue for the rest of the afternoon.
Second Half
During the second half, Player 3 kept running by me and yelling “you’re the best coach ever.” Would have been nice if Player 3 would have kicked the ball or joined the game action. My team managed to score two goals late in regulation and ended up losing 9-2. I could only grasp two players wanting to play big minutes in future games (Player 5, Player 7).
Based on my wife’s observations from the sidelines, all of the parents were appreciative of the kiddos efforts and had nothing negative to say about the coaches. Due to being focused on player names and jersey numbers, I failed to notice Team B’s defensive strategy. Team B simply took three of their players and placed them on their own goal line. My team would dribble to Team B’s goal line and then turn the ball over. Team B would then counter attack and fly to the opposing end of the field to score easy goals. That’s smart coaching in Week 1.
Post Game
As I left the field, there was work to be done for Week 2. More importantly I needed a cold beer or two to wash away the final score. Only issue I had with my team, was that Player 4 always wanted the soccer ball and would fight his own teammates for it during the game. I noticed it a few times, but didn’t realize how big of an issue it would become over the next four weeks. In contracting language, that’s called a latent defect.
Week 2
Practice Session
First game that counted in the official division standings and we were scheduled to play Team C. Most players arrived 10-15 minutes late for practice. Practice session was frankly horrible due to some of the players not wanting to run any drills. Player 5 choose to stand with his parents and wouldn’t sit on the bench. Player 2 was all over the field and spent time in the other goal net while Team C ran warm up drills. Thankfully Player 2’s parents helped to alleviate that issue.
Player 6 made a two minute appearance with his dad during the beginning of drills and then left the venue. Didn’t hear or see from Player 6 after that for the rest of the season. Player 7 was a pleasant surprise during the drills. She actively listened, led the drills and encouraged her teammates. As the game was getting ready to kick off, I had more apprehension than in Week 1 and no idea how things would go.
First Half
Team B won the coin toss and kicked off. As is typical for 3-4 year olds, the soccer ball is the focal point of a scrum of players and sometimes it ends up in the net. As I blinked my eyes, Player 5 and Player 7 started a nice breakaway against one defender on Team C and the ball was shot into the correct goal. Suddenly Team A had a lead and it felt awesome. About two minutes later a second goal was scored by Player 4, and I had visions of my top three players scoring a bushel of goals over the next five games.
Here We Go
As I literally saw the lightbulb turn on above each kiddo’s head on Team A after the second goal, I had to keep the momentum going by keeping it simple. For some reason the following motto came out of my mouth to Team A when lining up to play defense, “after Team C kicks the ball, go get the ball and score.” That motto made sense to my players and they responded with an 8-0 lead at halftime.
Second Half
I kept saying the same motto during the second half and Team A ending up winning 11-1. Realized that if I gave my players high fives, low fives and verbal praise they would perk up and play harder. Can’t really describe the feeling and emotions I had as the game ended, due to how well my team played. All of the players and parents were happy during post game snacks. I was trying to figure out what had gone so right and how to replicate it in Week 3.
What Happened?
As Player 3 and I left the venue to get to our car, one of the grandparents of a Team A player realized he was walking behind the head coach. He said just loud enough for me to hear, “that was a good old fashioned Sunday whipping.” Had I created a monster with Team A or were we just getting started as a good soccer team?
Week 3
Practice Session
Photo day went smoothly and didn’t interfere too much with practice. I had anticipated photo day due to being a huge distraction during the Spring 2022 season. Instead of waiting for photos to be completed, I kept the kiddos moving. Would send one player at a time to the professional photographer with their parents. Player 2 was ill during the week and his parents had kept me informed that he might not play, but wanted pictures taken. Player 8 was added to Team A’s roster by i9 Sports earlier in the week. He was an immediate contributor and helped offset Player 6 never returning to the team.
First Half
Team A was scheduled to play Team D and started quickly getting up 5-0 at the midpoint of the first half. Continued to use my motto for motivation and then watched the team improve with each possession. Assistant Coach 1 did an outstanding job keeping the kiddos plugged in, since they were getting bored with the level of competition. My players were starting to understand the difference between offense and defense. If one of the players started dribbling the wrong direction, I would yell “turn it around,” which meant to turn around and dribble towards the correct goal. This concept didn’t work in real time and I tried to address it at halftime.
Second Half
Second half was almost a duplicate of the first half and Team A coasted to an easy 12-3 victory. Player 8 fit in immediately with all of his teammates and goals were scored easily. Player 2 even rallied health wise to get some playing time in and made progress with using his feet. I realized that I had a deep bench, all of the players were listening, playing hard and most importantly learning. Could Team A continue to ride this momentum into a rematch with Team B?
Week 4
Battle for first place as Team A (2-0) was scheduled to play Team B (2-0). I was very confident during the week, that my new top line of three scorers would be faster than the Team B defense. Thought my team could get a lead and then play just enough defense to hold on for a close victory. My wife cryptically told me late in the week to lower my expectations before kickoff.
Practice Session
Practice drills were hit and miss. Player 4 and Player 5 didn’t listen to directions and knocked all of the dribbling cones down on purpose. Player 1 and Player 3 didn’t want to run during any of the calisthenics, so I dialed the pace back. I thought my team was simply bored with practice and wanted to start the game as soon as possible. Didn’t know that I was getting a sneak peak of the Little Shop of Horrors that was going to play out shortly.
First Half
Team A won the coin toss and elected to kick off. I had my big three scorers on the field and Player 7 was lined up to kick off. As soon as the referee blew her whistle, Player 4 made a beeline for the ball and knocked Player 7 to the ground and himself. Team B quickly got the ball and went down on a three players vs. zero players breakaway to score a goal thirty seconds into the game.
Same play almost happened again on the next kickoff, and now I knew that Player 4 wasn’t going to listen to any coaching advice for the entire game. Things started to spiral out of control with my roster. No one wanted to come into the game off the bench, passing the ball stopped and players started being selfish. It was a 6-0 deficit at halftime, despite Team A having three to four quality scoring chances.
Halftime
At halftime, all I could mutter was “Team B simply has our number and keep playing hard by passing to your teammates.” During the second half, Player 5 got upset at the best player on Team B and decided to tackle and punch him twice out of bounds. Team B’s head coach pointed that out to me due to having a better real time view of the incidents. I immediately put Player 5 on the bench for the rest of the game.
Second Half
Player 7 scored a solo goal late in the game, but she looked upset. That’s when I realized she wasn’t only trying to avoid all defense played by Team B, she was keeping the ball away from Player 4 due to the kickoff incident. Player 4 spent the second half hip checking most of this teammates to get the ball and I officially had a full blown problem on my hands. When the final whistle blew, Team B won 10-1 and I had to go back to the drawing board.
Post-Game Thoughts
After I got home and tried to replay this game in my head, two things stood out. First, I needed to break up my top three scorers, to ensure Player 7 would continue to thrive and enjoy playing soccer. Second, Team B had changed their game planning and were running set plays. All three players would pass the ball to each other before crossing the mid-field line. Then their superstar would typically score or leave a tasty back pass to a teammate for a shot on goal. I was stunned and impressed that 3-4 year olds could execute set plays and realize what the opposing team was doing to stop them. Quietly I tipped my hat to the Team B coaching staff and realized Team A would most likely play them again in Week 7.
Week 5
Pre-Game Communication
Bad weather finally arrived this week due to a light rain storm, which caused the spectator crowds to be smaller than usual. None of the parents on Team A volunteered to bring a post game snack for the kiddos and that weighed on my mind more than it should have. My wife and twin daughters were able to attend this game and weren’t too big of a distraction for Player 3.
Player 8 was unable to play due to having a bad ear infection and his parents were very timely in letting me know that. Assistant Coach 1 and Player 1 were an unannounced no-show during practice, so I had to turn quickly to Assistant Coach 2. I had texted Assistant Coach 2 several times during the week, since he was Player 7’s dad. Player 7 had a rough game in Week 4 and I was focused on ensuring she would enjoy playing soccer for the remainder of the season.
Game Planning
Strategy texts during the week focused on breaking up my best three players (Player 4, Player 5, Player 7), to enable the soccer ball would be shared and not fought over. If I could start the game with Player 5 and Player 7 utilizing passing and looking for a good shot, then Player 4 would come off the bench and be a bull in a china shop while playing with Players 1, 2, and 3. This subtle shift would free up Team A to start fast, play possession soccer when Player 4 was on the field, and then goals would happen during mismatches on the field. This made sense on paper to me. Assistant Coach 2 was in full agreement and even discussed it with Player 7.
Practice Session
Practice drills were fair, but Player 4 and Player 5 didn’t like to work on any skills at all. Both of those kiddos would prefer to just shoot the ball on goal and talk to their parents. Oh the joys of coaching a youth soccer team. I was apprehensive at kickoff due to Team A not listening at all in Week 4. Now I had to refocus a team that had lost their direction.
First Half
The first half was a workmanlike game that was incredibly easy to coach. Player 5 and Player 7 scored two goals apiece and Player 4 thrived coming off the bench. Player 4 had one goal and three quality scoring chances. Team A led 5-0 at halftime. New lineup was clicking, kiddos were plugged in and Assistant Coach 2 was running a solid bench. Could this get any better?
Halftime
During halftime, Player 3 needed an emergency bathroom break, so I had to put my big three scorers back on the field at the same time for the second half kickoff. Assistant Coach 2 and I spent a solid ninety seconds explaining how important it was to use your teammates and not knock them over. “Support each other, pass to each other and have fun.” Player 4 responded with four goals in the second half and played an almost perfect game.
Second Half
Everything was lining up for an easy victory and all of my players were in one piece and smiling, until the last two minutes of the game. Player 4 and Player 7 went into full sprint mode on playing defense near their own goal line and ended up bumping heads while falling out of bounds. Unfortunately Player 7 took the brunt of that collision and was screaming and crying loudly. Player 5 finished the last two minutes of the game as Team A won 9-3. I was relieved that the lineup switch worked for most of the game. Could Team A play another solid game and then be ready for a potential rematch with Team B? Time would tell.
Week 6
Found out two hours before kickoff that Player 4 and Player 8 would miss this game due to illness. Can’t blame the parents for the late notice, since they were probably waiting for their kiddos to see if they’d make a last minute recovery. I would have done the same thing if Player 3 was sick and trying to get healthy. Week 5 brought rain and Week 6 brought strong winds, which happens frequently during the Fall months in Norman, Oklahoma. Practice was conducted in steady 30-40 mph winds, and I started to contemplate how a roster of five kiddos could survive a thirty-two minute game without running out of gas against Team D.
Practice Session
First adjustment due to the bad weather was simplifying the practice drills. I tried setting up cones for the players to dribble through and all of them blew over immediately. I switched to calisthenics and shooting on goal. Took two water breaks and explained we would be playing short handed with five players, therefore shifts would be short with quick substitutions. I was counting on Player 1, Player 5 and Player 7 to double shift as much as possible. Player 2 and Player 3 would have to just get in the way and kick the ball from time to time to make a difference. I didn’t like our chances as the opening kickoff was signaled by the referee.
First Half
Player 5 didn’t practice much due to the weather, but once the game started he was an angel. Scored four goals and continued to support Player 7 on the offensive end. Defense was a bit of an adventure due to the soccer ball changing directions with the strong winds. Player 1 played solid defense and Player 7 continued to help out her teammates. Led 3-1 at halftime and I was busy trying to calculate how many shift changes Team A had to get through to hold on for a victory.
Second Half
During the second half, Player 1, Player 2 and Player 3 got tired due to double shifts and the wind. I transformed into parent mode and focused on placing my players in the passing lanes of Team D. Some players I had to pick up off the ground and move them around like lincoln logs. I had officially entered survival mode to win this game. Score was 4-2 with about three minutes left and there was a surreal moment that happened in Team A’s defensive end of the field.
Playing with three players vs. three players, Team D had one player ready to play, one player laying on the ground and one player wandering off the field towards his parents. As if on cue, Team A also had one player ready to play, one player rolling around on the field and one player looking for her parents. I paused for about five seconds as the referee wasn’t sure how to proceed and I locked eyes with Team D’s coach on the field. For some reason I was able to say “now what do we do?” Team D’s coach started laughing and looked at me and said “let’s have both of our teams finish this game strong.”
Post Game
Team A was able to get a late goal from Player 7 and hung on for a 5-2 win. I had a firm handshake and pat on the back from Team D’s head coach in the high five line and finally felt like I belonged as a coach. This game was the hardest to coach, the most tiring mentally and physically, but it felt the most satisfying for the entire season.
How do I get a short handed Team A ready to play Team B for a third time? Should I admit to the parents that we have no chance? Or should I continue to look through rose colored glasses and see what happens? Not a fun conundrum to be in. Do I take the red pill or the blue pill?
Week 7
Pre-Game Communication
During the entire 2022 Fall season, I would send all of the parents a weekly email that would explain the sportsmanship value of the week, the practice drills to be run, and any weather details to ensure all of the kiddos would be prepared to play. After drafting this email, I decided to include a short section about playing Team B for the third time, and how Team A had lost the two previous matchups badly on the scoreboard.
The short section explained how well coached Team B was due to running set plays. How Team B had one superstar who scored a ton of goals but also passed to his teammates. I wanted all of the kiddos on Team A to play loose, relaxed and confident, despite the bad history of trying to matchup with Team B. I told each parent that if their kiddos asked them about this game that they should say, “your coach wants you to play the best game you can and to have fun. If you do that, the scoreboard will take care of itself.” I wasn’t raising the white flag to surrender, I was simply addressing reality and letting the situation play itself out.
Practice Session
On the road to practice, I was notified by the applicable parents that Player 8 was going to miss this game again due to his inner ear infection. Player 4 was also going to miss this game due to being out of town. I can’t shake the feeling that my short email section for Week 7 may have offended his parents and they didn’t want him to play. That may be true and it may be false. So I was in the same predicament as Week 5 and Week 6. Trying to win a game with five total players against a much better team. All you can do is try in a situation like that.
Practice session was fun and lively. I finally learned how to be the guy trying to steal soccer balls during the shark and minnows drill. All five players were relaxed and enjoyed the last official session of drills. I tried to pause a handful of times to take in the moment and enjoy the casual atmosphere. Basically took mental snapshots as the kiddos were ready to play no matter what obstacles were about to be thrown their way.
First Half
First half started similar to Week 4, with Team B racing to a quick 3-0 lead, but all of their goals were contested by Team A. Suddenly Player 7 scored a solo goal due to dribbling through three players on Team B. Two minutes later, Player 5 and Player 7 ran a tic-tac-toe play with passes and scored an easy goal. Team B had a 3-2 lead with five minutes left in the first half and momentum had shifted.
For some reason, all of the players on Team B decided to have a crying breakdown on the ensuing kickoff and the referee paused the game. Parents came out to console their kids and Team B made a lineup change to get through the first half. Team A had two more quality scoring chances but missed tieing up the game by halftime. From my perspective on the field, Team A was marking Team B’s players by getting in their passing lanes, playing simple defense and then counterattacking after getting the ball. Everything was clicking and Team B looked beatable right before halftime.
Halftime
During halftime, I knew my short bench was gassed. Told all of the players, “you guys are right in this game. Take some deep breaths, clear out your lungs and get ready to finish strong. There are huge gaps of open grass on the field, please keep running through them and then score.” Team B was being lectured loudly by their coaches at halftime and I had flashbacks to that last game I played in Spring 1988. Kiddos were being yelled at for simply having a bad half of soccer. All coaches teach and talk differently.
Second Half
Second half was a blur since Team B’s superstar player got back on track. He scored four goals in a five minute span and all of them were based on his talented athletic ability. To promote good sportsmanship, I high fived him twice because he was playing the game the right way: fast, hard, and following the rules. The kid was a goal scoring machine. No matter what player shift combinations were put on the field by me and Assistant Coach 1, there was no stopping Team B in the second half. Final score was 11-2 with Team B winning, but I felt that my players showed up, played hard and never gave up.
Post Game
After shaking hands with the players and coaches of Team B, I noticed that Player 5 was crying. Player 5 had some heated conversations with his parents during the second half, and at times wouldn’t even try to get or kick the soccer ball. From a coaches perspective, the top player on Team B had gotten inside his head and scored a bunch of goals. I decided this would be my last teaching moment of the season. I walked over to Player 5 and got down on one knee to talk to him face to face. Player 5 was upset that Team A had lost.
Teaching Moment
I said “that when you play soccer, you’ll always run into a better player, a better team, and you sometimes can’t avoid losing. What matters is how you learn and respond to a loss. Best way to get over a loss is to practice better, play harder and be more prepared for your next game. That’s how you face adversity head on. I asked you to do two things today: to play your best and have fun. You did both of those well. I’m proud of you as your head coach and I can’t ask for more than you did. Please hold your head high because Team A had a fun and successful season due to your skills and scoring a lot of goals.”
Player 5’s face changed from a frown to a smile. I gave him a hug and then handed out i9 Sports trophies to each player on Team A. Sent out a season ending email to all of the parents thanking them for their support and having their kiddos ready to play each week. I was a little overwhelmed with the positive feedback from all of the parents via the weekly group text. My volunteering skills didn’t go unnoticed and I had made a positive difference in their kiddos lives for seven games. That’s all you can hope for when you decide to be a head coach.
Lessons Learned as a Head Coach
I avoided kiddo meltdowns, lack of parent interaction, and ineffective practice drills due to using skills I had learned during the Fall 2021 and Spring 2022 seasons. Learning never ends for kiddos and adults on a daily basis and its much better to embrace than avoid it. Here’s the best suggestions for anyone considering being a head coach.
- Communicate openly with all parents and be transparent with your practice plans to ensure the kiddos are comfortable and embrace learning.
- Listen to the kiddos and parents because they will have very good suggestions to help and improve the organized sports experience.
- Change things up for the kiddos on a weekly basis so they don’t get bored and are excited to play the game.
- Be flexible due to weather, illnesses, lack of parent communication, since stuff happens at unpredictable times.
- Have fun since this is a chance to lay a foundation with each kiddo to play organized sports in the future.
Due to bonding with Player 3 (my son) during the 2022 Fall season and seeing all of the kiddo’s light bulbs go on during Week 2, I’m headed back as a volunteer head coach for the 2023 Spring season. Time to work on the craft of being a better soccer coach.
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